Beard B Gone

Now this post might be embarrassing-- for me mostly -- because well it puts my imperfections out there for display -- luckily -- and kind of unluckily -- I didn't take any pictures (although I wish I had!!)

I -- as most women-- seriously don't lie -- have a sort of a peach fuzzy mustache -- you call it what you want to make you feel warm and fuzzy -- ya fuzzy like your mustache!!  -- any way -- I had this atrocity -- located just above my lovely lip glossed lip!!   I complained and complained about it-- I had tried waxing-- and beside the pain factor- which - lets face it-- it hurts-- I was left -- hair less - but with a lovely  ZIT Mustache- now I'd have to say a ZIT Mustache is worse than wisker mustache --  So i didn't want to go that route- what I really wanted was Laser hair removal-- over my entire body -I am not a fur fan!!!   but since that price tag- made me want to swallow my tongue- I have just been living like a monkey -- watching Chet each morning- covet my wonderful mustache growth -- I really felt I was starting to look like a 70's porn star-- yes  my fur was filling in nicely!!!

Finally I'd had enough of the Beard (or mustache as it was)!!

Last night- while my mom-- so willingly watched the kidds for me and Jodi-- we ran into walmart for some odds and ends- and told Jodi- I need Beard B Gone!

We quickly perused the "fur removal isle" I found one that claimed "pain free" ya right--  like that is possible - - -remove the fur- and be pain free- unbelievable! -- and I didn't believe it-- I've used  Nair- Nads, Wax and everything in between!!!

All of it had pain!!   I'm no pansy - I can handle the pain!!

Any way - we found one- and left-- I was excited-- ooh baby -- Beard B Gone - here we come!!

After getting home - and getting Porter to bed - which was super easy - being he was asleep in the car (thanks Jod for the Jammies!!)  I got a fire started-- and sat down to do some dirty work!!

I read the bottle instructions -- some of them -- 20/20 hindesight- read all instructions before handling Beard B Gone!
I read some of them - shake well-- apply - yada yada yada-- where is the part  that says -- beautiful fur free skin-- that's what I want- aaah there it is-- ok-

So I shook- and applied- hey no pain- a little tingle- but no pain- and the smell- not intoxicating- but not terrible either -- and  so I waited 3 minutes-- nah- I'll give it jus a few more- it said a maximum of 8-- so 5 should be good -- ok- time to see my results-- I got my wet cotton ball -- and wiped -- wipe wipe-- ooh wait that is a rub- it said don't rub- AAAH - my face - my face is on fire-- I shouldn't have rubbed!

I wiped gently the other side of my face-- and watched as the burned off little furries came off on my cotton ball- I was feeling victorious- i was feeling good- I was feeling pain -- lots of it Oh my my face-- I shouldn't have rubbed- it said not to rub- why did I rub?--- OOh burning-- what helps burns- Aloe-- yes aloe- I keep some under the sink-- so I squirted and applied- waiting for the instant-- ahh feeling of cool aloe- I didn't get it!!

OOH my Hell! What have I done!!

It felt like I had stuck my face to the hot fire place!! YOw-- I read quickly -- ooh Shit- do not apply soap -- or astringent for 2 hours-- I quickly washed off the aloe--- AAh water - that feels pretty good- sorta -  I bathed my red red mustache in water-- for waht seemed like 20 minutes- then decided to get in the shower- (which didn't feel good at all!!!)

 Ok - I lie- it kind of felt good- cuz a long hot shower after a hard day or burning off facial hair- who wouldn't like that!!

Any way - I get out of my shower- and my face- just the part I rubbed is numb- fur free- but numb- and red and swollen-- ooh owe! Chet got home right then - so I showed him my face-- one side -- great- fur free-- and normal color- other side- swollen -red- but still fur free-- victory for me- the red will go away right??

So this morning I was getting ready for work- trying to cover up my one sided red mustache with bronzer-- nope gotta break out the big guns- concealer- now putting a whiter colored cream on my already red face- that's not gonna look funny at all is it?- Well it did - -but the red- honestly looked worse- so here i am -- at work - typing this embarassing post-- but stil feeling pretty good-- as I stroke my mustache-- or I mean my fur free upper lip-- ya BABy!~~

I do wish I had before and after pictures for you- but I don't- so just imagine!!

Before -- 70's Porn stache--   Current-- Me - fur free- and slightly red!!!

What a sight huh!!