USO -- Unidentified Squatting Object

So I don't remember if I said anything about the weird rodent I found dead in my driveway about 2 weeks ago-- we had been doing alot of mouse hunting -- as I pulled into the driveway I thought it was a big mouse dead -- or maybe a kitten (sad I know) then I was worried Annie (the dog) had eaten one of my squirrels-- ( we have 4 squirrels and I love them they are hilarious)-- any way I ran back to see what it was Hmm? NOt sure -- it wasn't anything I'd ever seen before looked almost like a cartoon character? So I went into get Chet-- he's spent more time in the outdoors and trying to idenitfy weird rodents-- I knew that if it was furry and had a long tail it was a rat-- all furry creepy crawly things were classified under RAT! But it wasn't a rat -- So we left it in the driveway -- kind of figuring that it was someones pet exotic something or rather-- and had intentions of asking my dad-- who has been around forever and knows about everything!! But it got squished down in the mud and unidentifiable-- oh well right?

Well this morning I was running late for work -- as usual-(I blame it on the fights I have with my toothbrush every morning! -- Toothbrush usually wins and I have to redo my mascara!) Any way -- so I'm driving out of the driveway and I notice a huge mouse in the road-- so I'm digging for my gun- cuz uh i'm gonna shoot it out the car window -- who wouldn't?-- well I get closer and its bigger than a mouse-- its kind of like 3 or 4 mouses mooshed together-- oh wow its one of those things-- I circle around it a couple of times and it doesn't run off- hmm-- must be tame!! -- So I call Chet to have him run down and look at it-- see what it is-- cuz I have to get to work-- he goes down and touches it and it tries to eat him--hooray I'm glad I didn't get out of the car-- heels and scary rodents don't mesh!-- he gets a picture of it and texts it to me!! I show it around the office and no one can tell me what it is-- so this is what I've decided it is -- its a freak of nature-- but hopefully you can follow my family tree!!!


A Kangaroo and a field mouse-- had a baby -- Generation 1

That baby #1 had an affair with a married opposum -- Generation 2

That baby #2 had a one night stand in Vegas with a exotic dancing chinchilla -Generation 3

That baby #3 hooked up with what it thought was another chinchilla but happened to be a cross dressing chipmunk-- Generation 4

That baby #4 was kidnapped by a pack of wild ferrets and raised to think it was a ferret -- and has now escaped??

So if you didn't follow -- Its a huge mouse colored body-- with Kangaroo feet (and hops on all 4s), with an opposum face-- with a chipmunk tale-- and oddly reacts to people like a ferrett- just kind of hangs out? and appears to be soft and cudly like a chincilla- but bites?

Any ideas?? or if any one knows how to get pictures off your phone to your computer? I'll post it?

Here it is!!