Just Another Reason

I have added one more reason to the list of "Why I Hate Wearing Pantyhose"
I could write a novel on the reasons-- but here are a few!
They pinch my waist and give me a muffin top
They run
They are itchy
They are ugly
They snag on everything and run
I can't wear them even one time without them being ruined

But I found the big daddy this morning-- I put on a pair of those dreaded nasty things-- with a cute little skirt--I was getting ready -talking and making faces at Porter-- when I felt the rumbling-- yes here it comes-- a puff -- and I swear I could feel the air ball rolling down my legs, to my toes-- not finding a good exit path there-- that air ball rolled right back up-- and out the waist band-- and tried to choke me out with its nasty noxious fumes-- Uhg!! I was almost gagging! That was awful-- its like farting in overalls-- there is no place for it to exit so it comes right up and gets you in the face-- PUFF!!

Then I felt another one-- oh no-- I couldn't get them off in time to release the beast-- uhg-- I was getting choked out by myself-- Blah-- stupid nylons!! I hate them!