Don't Eat the Mushrooms!

So its been raining for days, no weeks, it rains all the time. I'm not complaining, due to my huge belly and over heated body - the cool weather is lovely and I'll take it because I'm sure that at some point in the near future-- summer will show up and it will be 90 degrees and I'll be beached whale out in my kiddie pool! But for now-- the rain is great--. With all the rain comes new vegitation on the lawn-- mushrooms! Now I hate mushrooms- I hate all mushrooms, I think they are nasty and fungusy and just gross-- some people enjoy them on alot of things, but not me-- and now I have one more reason to hate the MUSHROOMS!

My Goat-- who is my buddy -- I'm his mom -- he loves me-- follows me all over- rubs his scruffy head on me and just basically is a good pet. Goat eats everything, he loves Whoppers (malt balls), snicker doodles, Peanut M&M's, anything I'm picking (i.e. apples, beans, berries), saw dust, bark, cardboard, all sorts of nasty things this goat eats. He has 100 acres of green hay field and sometimes I find him in the box car eating sawdust and bark? Go figure-- I guess Goats need fiber too? Any way . . . Yesterday me and Chet went out to feed the horses and cows -- it was not dark, just getting that way -- I was in my very cute red riding hood sweatshirt with the hood pulled up -- cuz I was cold (yes I know my thermostat is broke!) I went and took the garbage out and then was walking over to the barn to help Chet finish up - - I made it almost there and the Goat met me-- he had crazy eyes-- he did his half hearted rear up and crash down just in front of me-- I stopped in my tracks-- and he came closer and did it again -- rearing up higher-- I yelled for Chet who was close-- that the Goat was trying to crack me-- he just laughed-- not funny --- he looked up and said just kick him -- ya I was in flip flops-- gonna help a huge goat cracking at me! -- I came a little closer and the goat got even crazier eyed and cracked at me again (now granted if he wanted to hit me -- he could of-- I think he was hallucinating!) So Chet threw a rock at him and he ran off for a second- we went up to open the barn and here comes the goat to get me again-- crazy ass goat! Usually the goat is soo mellow and just mild -but he looked super super wild! His eyes were crazy -- even crazy for goat eyes!

I went in the barn and hid-- The Goat kept coming and looking at me and being super scary -- Chet said just kick him-- once again -- flip flops-- so I picked up the pitch fork-- I'll just wack him when he tries to wack me-- he came around the corner and tried a sneak operation-- I swung-- and missed (Chet is now laughing -- saying I hit like a girl -- duh I am a girl) Any way -- we watched the goat kind of stagger around and be crazy -- We both decided he must have eaten the mushrooms-- and was hallucinating and when I walked up with my hood on - he must have thought I was the devil or something-- who knows! But needless to say the rest of the evening-- I kept a close watch on the goat-- never turning my back on him-- I was sure he was gonna smack me in the butt when he got around to it!

Soo the moral of the story - don't eat Mushrooms-- really no mushrooms are good -- they are all fungus and have the potential to cause hallucinations-- even in a garbage gut Goat!!!